Have you read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell? If you haven’t and you have children, then this may be of interest to you.
If however, you are not familiar with the concept of the 5 love languages. Then feel free to read my blog post on the 5 love languages before reading this book review.
Because I’ve studied Psychology and have a natural interest in the psychology of children and emotions. I was immediately drawn to this book. I knew about the 5 love languages but did not know there was a version of the series focusing on children. I have to say it’s very similar to the 5 love languages but I did learn a lot of new things. If you are intrigued than continue reading this quick review.
What are the 5 love languages for children?
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
First impressions of the book
What really grabbed my attention with this book was the first line on the back of the book.
You love your child but does your child feel loved?
Now that line really had me. I had to stop and think to myself, as a mum of two. I do everything I can for my children. But what that is not translating to love in their eyes. Of course as a mum you naturally doubt yourself. But then on your good day you tell yourself, of course my kids know I love that. Look at all the toys they have in their room. Look at all the books I buy for them to encourage their educational attainment. My kids have a healthy routine, they eat, sleep and play. What else can I do as a mum?
Well, this book will tell you that for sure! This book talks about how to fill your child’s emotional tank. It’s something that has really resonated with me. Once you discover your child’s love language and how to speak it – you can build a strong foundation for your child to trust you and know that you love them.
One more point on the first impressions. I noticed the book has a few religious references. So that’s important to note if you follow a faith that’s different to Christianity. Apart from the religious reference points (which weren’t many) I still found it very useful information.
What I’ve learned from this book
Personally, I have learned the love language that my 5 year old daughter speaks. It’s said that you wont be able to fully understand the love language a child under the age of 3 speaks as they are to young to really express their emotional needs. So for my son I’m not there yet.
However, I have learned that I can still speak to my children in all 5 love languages as that is still important. The 5 love languages often cross over one another anyone. For example, you can achieve the following love languages through a simple bedtime story. You can tick off Quality Time, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. If you’re child speaks any of those love languages then the other love languages are a big bonus.
How will it help your parenting?
I have learned that I often impose my love language on others and especially my children. My love language is the way I show my love. The way I show that I have been thinking about my children wanting to put a smile on their faces.
But I realised that I need to do less of that and more of what my child is asking of me. For example, when my child wants my attention and is asking me for something. It’s important to either meet that need straight away if possible. Or to get down to my child’s eye level and comfort them with reassurance that as soon as Mummy is done with this important task, she will be there for you.
Ways in doing this are through asking your child if they can help you finish your task quicker. This can be with chores such as preparing a meal or doing the laundry.
Parenting is all about being patient, you hear it all the time. But what this book has taught me personally is that parenting is about getting to know your child deeply. Understanding their emotional needs and not just focusing on their physical well-being!
Would you recommend it?
If you haven’t guessed already. Yes I would recommend this book. I think the topic of emotional well-being and talking to your children is one that I will always find interesting. I hope that if you do read this book that you will benefit from it.
Where can I buy it?
You can get this book on Amazon for £9.38 click here for your copy.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this book if you’ve read it already. Leave your thoughts in the comments below.